After A While

After a while
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall

I used this reading to design a calligraphy type banner for a psychology course I was once enrolled in. I had discovered it shortly after my first husband passed away and its message couldn't have rang anymore true. I will never forget the feeling of complete devestation and desertion. Of course, he hadn't planned on checking out of this world at the tender age of 37, but hadn't we promised a life time together? In spite of how we all think or how we all feel we need others to depend on our happiness and growth it really stems from within. And when you've established strong roots you'll feel the power and the capabilities you really do have to grow. I promise.

End of the Innocence

My 11 yr old son has started middle school this year (yes, it is possible for a middle-aged woman to have an 11 yr old son) and with the start of his new world has come the start of many new  questions. But something he wanted to talk about the other day left me with more questions than the few he wanted to know. He's noticed girls starting to wear make-up and he cannot figure out for the life of him why any of them would want to "put all that stuff on their faces."  He went on to say that it's REALLY bad  when they have swimming in phy-ed and the girls all end up with, "black circles under their eyes, just like a raccoon." I tried to explain to him that girls think they are making themselves prettier when they use make-up but he just couldn't see the justification in it.
So the thoughts that had me pondering was how and why women do things in reality to impress other women. I mean it really does start in our youth and we carry on with it often up until our last days on earth. (you've all heard of the woman who didn't want to be shown in her coffin or has her special outfit picked out.....)
Are we our own best enemies when really we could be the best of friends? Do we need to constantly and consistently compete against our own gender? Let's work towards breaking the cycle of beauty queens and fashion models.

And just a footnote: We attended an event at my son's middle school last night and the skin of those young adolescent preteens was porcelain like, especially the ones who weren't wearing make-up

Kelly Corrigan

I hope you all enjoy this piece by Kelly Corrigan. If you have a chance look up some of her other presentations. Now I hope I have loaded it to this page correctly (I think she touched on the age of the computer and all of it's challenge for those of us who haven't grown up with one)

 Kelly Corrigan - Bing Videos on bing.com

Will I Be Pretty?

This is a video that was shared with me from a good friend. The message is nothing less than powerful and I believe each and everyone of us can relate in some way. I'll apologize ahead of time if the message comes off as offensive to anyone but I believe with  the passion the narrator delivers there are no alternatives.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0

Blog Explained

This blog is the direct result of a class requirement for “Women Studies” a college course I am taking through the UW on-line system. This blog will address Issues of the Middle-Aged Woman...

While I realize that the general population of my classmates do not fit into this category, that of “middle aged woman” I am certain that they are either headed that way or know someone who is there.

Though I say it with some trepidation and it doesn't exactly roll off my tongue, “I am a middle aged woman.” “How did I get here?” is a train of thought that seems to float through my processes quite often. And now that I've arrived at middle age, how do I make these years of my life some of the best they could be?

The hoped-for results I'm looking for will be just the things I previously mentioned. How do I get all I can get out of life, knowing that there will be possible limitations (financial or physical).

How do I accept growing old – gracefully - if you will?

How do I not get sucked into the creams, lotions, fillers, dyes, diets, surgeries...oh my God the list is endless....where does one draw the line between maintenance and over indulgence in the fight to age gracefully?

What are available options for finding peace of mind when my mind is not at peace probably due to hormones with no intent on peace.

In an effort to survey you, my dear women, please do tell what are your mechanisms for coping?

I ask that you not only offer advice, but be willing to accept it at this site as well.

For, I think we can all agree, there is nothing greater than the true power of networking. Of course the definition of “networking” has changed through the years. A network that once meant a coffee clutch while young children played, has now evolved into virtual networks that communicate with the whole world while sipping one's coffee in the quiet confines of our own homes. Simultaneously gathered, proximity measured in words typed and not in the distance of our kitchens.

So come share with me in a world of virtual possibilities!